The first year

August 17th marked one year of Alexia. 365 days of firsts, tears (both hers and mine), laughs, smiles, pictures, outfits, diapers, milk, and other joys. For her birthday, I bought her a picture book called "Forever" and wrote her a note inside of it. I will write her a letter here as well to mark her first year.

All pics by my sister

My dearest Alexia, 

There are so many memories from this first year. The first time I saw you and thought "That beautiful baby can't be mine!" The first couple of weeks when I dreaded feeding you because it hurt too much. Using a small syringe to get some milk into your tiny body. Falling asleep by mistake with you laying on my chest. Using a football hold to feed you because that was the only hold they taught me in the hospital. Flying on the plane with you when you were only 12 weeks old. You sleeping 20 hours a day and eating at least 12 times a day. The little bassinet that you used to sleep in next to our bed so that I could just lay you down after you ate at night. Missing you when you finally moved into your crib in your own room. The fact that you used to nap in your snowsuit.

It feels like within just the last month you've grown so much and I just wasn't prepared. A week and a half before your birthday, you started really walking. You had taken a couple of steps before that, but on Wednesday, August 6th, you started consistently walking. You still stumble here and there and when you get tired, it's like you're drunk. You fall and crash into things and wobble like a drunk person.

You love to pretend you're on the phone. You take my phone or Grampa's phone or the baby monitor and put it on your shoulder and say "hiiiiiii". You love to wave to anyone and everyone. In the morning, you love to wave to Bronx in his cage.

I love the moment when you first see me in the morning when I go into your room to get you. Your face lights up and you get so happy. How can I be in a bad mood when your smiling face greets me?
 You are smiley and happy and love to laugh. Even when you don't feel good you are laughing and smiling and playing. You love to sing and dance. When we play mambo music, you dance almost immediately. It's clear you've got a lot of Latin blood running through your veins.

Right now you have your two bottom teeth and your two top teeth are coming in. It's been a rough time getting those two top teeth and we had a very hard weekend when we went to Vermont for the family reunion. You stayed up almost all night and then you cried almost the whole way home, to the point where I started to get really scared because you were hyperventilating.We did, however, get some amazing family photos at Aunt Theresa's beautiful lake house.

You bring so much joy to everyone who knows you. People are constantly stopping me and telling me what a beautiful baby you are and how well behaved you are. During your baptism, when the priest said your name, you waved to him and had the whole church laughing. Then, when we got up on the altar for the actual ceremony, you were pointing and waving at everyone. You have such a sweet personality and such a magnetic smile.

I can't wait to see the little person you become. It's already pretty clear that you are full of personality and that you're pretty stubborn. You are so smart and you love books. Your dad and I are constantly surprised by how much you know and how quickly you learn.

We love you, baby girl. You are our light when everything else is dark. You are the smile in the crowd. You are my favorite person. You have my favorite face. One year later, I still can't believe you're ours.

Love you forever my girl,

Your mama