The Way We Get By

It's one week later. 

Since the horrific event in Connecticut last week, I've worked pretty hard to try to avoid learning more. I honestly just feel like I can't think about it. It kills me to imagine innocent children put into the situation they were put into. It kills me to think that the children who survived will have that memory forever. It kills me to think that school, a place that I loved as a child, could be scary for children. My mind can't process the terror of the situation or the pain of the parents who went to the fire station and didn't find their children. 

What a privilege it is for me to not have to think about the situation if I don't want to. How lucky I am to not have to mourn a child I loved.

It's a coping mechanism. If every day we thought about the struggles we and others face, we would be stuck in place, unable to move. Unable to progress. Unable to go on living our day to day lives.

I have friends who are in very difficult situations and sometimes I wonder how they can live every day with the pain or fear they carry around with them. But one of these friends told me "If I thought about it every day, I would just shut down. I have to keep going."

I'm not saying to forget the victims, in fact, I think that in living our day to day lives, we are remembering them. We are living lives they will never have the chance to live.

And this is what I wish for the families affected by the shooting. I hope that they will soon be able to keep going. That they will find the strength to continue living their day to day lives.