Totally Inapro-pro

Today's post is brought to you by the letter I and the number 3.

I is for inappropriate, which is how I would describe the conversation that happened in the seats behind my mother and I today at the baseball game.

3 is for the number of hours I had to hear about this woman's ex-girlfriend and every tiny detail of their relationship that ended 6 weeks ago.

I'm not kidding. I heard everything. From the fact that she's now been celibate for 2 1/2 months, which in her opinion is far too long, the fact that they are now fighting over custody of their dog, to the fact that lesbians have a lower chance of catching STDs and having problems "down under", complete with details that are far too graphic for this family-friendly blog. I'm sorry...WHAT?

What about this baseball game made you think it was ok to come and talk about these topics in a loud, annoying voice?? Was it the family friendly songs being played every 5 minutes? Was it the large headed, friendly looking mascot that danced to the YMCA? Or was it the stadium full of families with small children?

If you wanted to have a 3 hour long confessional, you should have gone to Starbucks...or a therapist. I definitely didn't need to hear all of that talk and I certainly didn't want to hear it with my mother sitting right next to me. Thank you for saving me the embarrassment of having to hear you talk about lesbian sex positions by waiting until my mom had gotten up to get her food.

Now, if you had been actually paying attention during the game, you could have seen this lovely view:

View through the protective netting

Or if you had reallllly been paying attention, you could have seen a truly Maine game being played on the sidelines.

I know the video is small and a little far away, but what you are seeing is 4 men dressed like the Gorton's fisherman using lacrosse sticks to launch plastic lobsters at two people holding a lobster trap who are trying to catch as many as they can. See, I told you Maine was awesome.

The moral of this story is that if you go to a baseball game, please just enjoy the game. A baseball game is not the place to discuss your sex life (or lack thereof), the prevalence (or absence) of STDs, or every detail of your former relationship.

If I had had earplugs, my visit to the Sea Dogs would have been perfect. It was a beautiful day, I got to eat ice cream and hang out with my Mama, and best of all, the Sea Dogs won.